Happy Thanksgiving!
Hello EN502!
The past month has been a whirlwind in the best way. I've spent my time keeled over laughing with my high school friends over how bad I am at Mario Kart, watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean with my best friend Gabi (who stares at the horizon with a statistic-defying intent to witness a rare phenomenon known as the "green flash"), driving an hour up the coast with my mom just to get ice cream, trying on salwar kameezes in Little India for the first time, and passing days sprawled out on my floor editing law school essays.
Tomorrow, I'll spend Thanksgiving at Gabi's house for the ninth year (immigrant families do it better!), and next week, I'll celebrate my twenty-second birthday with her and our two other best friends; then, I'll pack up all of my belongings (the important ones, anyway) to ship back to Boston for the third time, since I'm starting a new job early next year.
I always knew the months I spent quietly wandering the beach by myself would be punctuated with some loud drastic change. Even though I was afraid of losing my peace, I not-so-secretly longed for it the whole time. I'm also tethered to the truth that all of these changes in my life are inherently positive things, things I sought out, which fills me with immense gratitude more than anything. How rare and lucky it is to voluntarily leave your home, and to know it will still be there when you return.
How rare to feel supported not just in one place, but two.
How lucky to be excited for drastic change.
In terms of change, 2024 will be unprecedented for me. I'll start it off working at BU's medical campus, a semi-familiar setting from the year I spent volunteering at BMC. Over the next several months, I'll hear back from law schools--rejections, waitlists, acceptances--knowing that long before the end of the year, I'll be gearing up to move again. I wonder if the place I go next will be close to home or far; will I need to bring my winter coat or will my sweaters suffice?
There's a lot to do. I know next year will pass me by incredibly quickly. I'll get to know my new roommate and then be telling her goodbye. I'll find new roommates in whichever city comes next; I'll settle into new routines. By next November, in all likelihood, I'll be a 1L at some university whose name I could not possibly guess at this point.
As I set the age of twenty-one to rest (forever), and so with it San Diego (for now) and unemployment (hopefully for a good while), I'm excited and terrified to move into this next chapter. I'm mostly afraid that the older I get, the less exciting changes like this will feel. I always want change to feel this boundlessly hopeful. I always want to be this naive to the challenges I'll surely face.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I'm very grateful for all of you, and for this blog.
With teeth and love,
Anika
P.S. For no particular reason: my 5 favorite songs right now are "Nobody's Baby" by Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings, "Possibly Maybe" by Björk, "One Step Ahead" by Aretha Franklin, "Tomorrow is my Turn" by Nina Simone, and "Guilty" by Lady Wray.
What a beautifully written piece! I am also grappling with the inevitable changes with the passage of time, with a little more apprehension than excitement, and it was comforting to read your statement: "all of these changes in my life are inherently positive things... How rare and lucky it is to voluntarily leave your home, and to know it will still be there when you return." A good reminder and a great outlook.
ReplyDeleteAnd a BIG congratulations on the BMC job, and moving back to Boston, and all of the exciting first steps into your next adventure! Best of luck and I can't wait to hear all about it!