Infants, Mothers, Teenage Girls in Their Twenties

When I told people that my new job involved working with infants, several adults joked that I would get "baby fever." A month into the job, the only disease I've gotten is perpetual "Tumblr quote compilation about motherhood and daughterhood" brain. I assume baby fever would have been less likely to bring me to the verge of tears thinking about my mother's career in the middle of data collection (thank God I was wearing a mask). 

Friday was the last day for two of my coworkers at the Speech and Neurodevelopment Lab, including the one who was training me, so I am truly on my own now. It's strange to finally be interacting with the world like a real person. For so long, I have been expected to approach life subserviently, like a stupid kid, even though I've rarely felt stupid and never like a kid. Now, though, I am surrounded by people who treat me like a peer. I'm not sure when I'll get used to it.

In terms of actual responsibilities, I do like my job. A balance between critical thinking and rote memorization, spontaneity and routine. I've met infants and parents and dogs, had academic discussions about consonants and macaroni texture and baby sensory videos, written emails and checklists and more emails. I haven't figured out how people work full time and still have the energy to do other things, but hopefully that will come with time.

My first paper for EN 502 was about the collection of quotes that I've kept in a notebook (well, now two notebooks) since 2015. Here are a few quotes from my collection that feel relevant (to me, to you, to the cosmos, etc.).

        "This is a lovely place, and I'll never forget it. It's lovely, and they are lovely; each one of them is gorgeous."

                -It, Stephen King (quote number 752)

        "In Budapest, everything had seemed possible. In Boston, this was not the case." 

                -Either/Or, Elif Batuman (quote number 1,170)

       

        "We are going to fling the government to the earth."

                -Les Misérables, Victor Hugo (quote number 713)

    

        "Remember, loneliness is still time spent with the world."

                -"Someday I'll Love Ocean Vuong," Ocean Vuong (quote number 1,178)

Lots of teeth and just barely more love,

Natalie